Lerr and Max 1 ruff ruff ruff

this is the roughest of rough rough ruff ruff drafts, inspired by a boot i saw on the side of 97 this morning...


The alarm starts in way too early. Lerr has been meaning to buy another one. The constant repeating screeching of that damn clock has been driving him crazy every morning for the last ten years or so. It’s funny how the things that seem most important early in the day become nothing more then an afterthought as the day progresses. Regardless, Lerr reaches across Nancy, who is starting to slowly stir to life, and hits the snooze bar. Hard. Another early start. He’ll be working outdoors today, clearing the fields and prepping the chipper. The best thing about today is that Lerr gets to work with Max. Max and Lerr go back a ways. They’ve worked together before and between them they have the most experience on the crew. It’ll be a good day. If he can just get out of bed…

Nancy’s not in bed when Lerr gets out of the shower. He can smell the bacon and the strong scent of coffee brewing. At least she’s good for something he thinks. Lerr and Nancy have been together for a long time. Too long. He’s been looking for a good reason to end the relationship. He would’ve done it long ago had it not been for the twin girls. Max has been in his ear for years now about getting out of the relationship. Max never liked her. And Lerr was starting to come around…

He did love the girls, even though they were a drain on his wallet and his sanity. He enjoyed them a lot right after their births, but lately, just like his wife, Lerr has been growing both bored and frustrated. Max and Lerr have had a lot of little chit chats about his situation lately. That’s probably why Lerr likes Max so much. Max provided Lerr with a sense of escape, of what Lerr’s life could be like if he were more like Max. Alone and independent.

Running late as usual. His shower ran a bit longer since he sort of fell asleep leaning on the wall. It’s so tough to get out, especially when it’s so damn cold outside. Even more so when the hot water washing away the whiskey from last night. Lerr had asked Nancy to pack a lunch for him and Max last night, as he fumbled threw his dirty clothes pile he made himself a mental note to be sure to grab the lunches on the way out the door.

....

How's a homeless guy gonna have a cell phone?
Since when are the Girl Scouts in the wet cement business?
Oil

What's the deal (sounding very Seinfeldian) with the little bumps on my fingers?
What happened to Del Davis? Something about christmas trees?
The Pope

Fedoras are the new "baseball" cap
60 is the new 40
Cancer

glurg blurp bleep ringadingdingdingydoo